


Skylight (Stand Up and Touch the Sky)

by TheLadyKing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, F/M, Modern AU, and i hate sitting on stuff, but i wrote this like a month ago, exploration of trauma, i dont know how to read, so here, so this isn't thoroughly edited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 11:39:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13234938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyKing/pseuds/TheLadyKing
Summary: Her therapist had told her sometimes this might happen.(Something short and semi-sweet because I love Valkyrie and she deserves some gentleness)





	Skylight (Stand Up and Touch the Sky)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this listening to "Someone to Love" by Jon B and Babyface on repeat. For an authentic experience do the same and then never listen to it ever again.
> 
> Also please don't try to kick any alcohol addictions by yourself. It's unwise and unsafe. Please take care of yourself.

Work was hard, she thought as she flexed her tapped fingers. Harder now that she was trying to limit her alcohol consumption.

“Val, you good to lock this place up?” Colleen asked, standing in the doorway of the larger equipment training area in the gym they co-owned. Val nodded her head silently, focusing on the punching bag in front of her instead of looking back at Colleen. She was sure if their eyes met the other woman would see exactly what was going on in her head and call in the cavalry. Which was exactly the opposite of what she needed right now.

“Well call if you need anything, alright?” Colleen said, frowning for a moment at Valkyrie’s silence. She stood in the doorway for a second longer before sighing and shrugging.

“Have a goodnight,” Val said over her shoulder as she finished taping up her right hand.

“You too,” the other woman said just before letting the door slam behind her. Valkyrie waited, listening for the slam of the front door before continuing on with her previous train of thought.

That was harder too. Working with someone. With people in general but especially with someone who knew so much about her. That they shared a friend group had been the appeal of going into business together in the first place and now… well, everything chaffed on days like these.

She looked up at the high ceiling, watching the sky change from the soft colors of dusk into the deep evening blue through the skylight.

She liked that part of the gym more than any of the other amenities they’d added. Back when she was younger, training to fight, she’d spent a lot of time on the mat floor looking up. The place where she’d originally trained had a huge skylight and whenever she’d get knocked down she’d always look at the sky and, maybe it was cheesy to say, but it made her want to get back up again. Of course, eventually she’d been the one knocking people down instead of being knocked down but that was a different story, really.

She nodded once towards the sky and shook her body out, letting go of the residual jitters from that morning and focusing on what she’d been doing before.

The first jab was quick and sounded with a thud, followed quickly by the second and then the third. Then soon enough her hands were flying as she danced around, ducking as her imaginary opponent swung for her left shoulder. She came back up with a ruthless right elbow, imagining digging it into the gut of a particular someone. In her mind’s eye, her opponent stumbled back, the breath knocked out of her.

“That’s it,” she murmured to herself, her vision clouding further in memory. In the past, she’d followed the elbow with another jab to the face but now she aimed lower, her knuckles clashing with her opponent’s chest and then coming up for one-two to the face. She’d fought to win last time, which had proven to be a mistake in the long run. Bringing her left elbow back up, she imagined her foe panting in pain. She should have killed her.

Dancing around behind the bag, she thought of wrapping that fucking ponytail around the woman’s throat and just holding tight until she’d fallen. Until she’d laid down and never gotten back up. Have her look up at the sky one last time and know she’d never get the chance to hurt anyone else. Not Val, not anyone she loved. No one.

“Fuck,” she murmured to herself as she came back to reality. Her hands ached with the memory of past bruises. She shook her head and sucked at her teeth in disgust.

Her therapist had told her sometimes this might happen. Especially after a morning like hers had been. She woke up with the shakes, every part of her trying to tremble right out of her skin, shrouded in sweat that stunk like liquor and sickness. She’d had a dreamless sleep, had felt peaceful the night and day before and still, she’d woken in pain so immense she’d wanted to peel her skin off herself.

The press of the sheets on her back hurt, the shower after she’d pulled herself from the drenched sheets hurt. Getting dressed hurt. Everything for the better part of the day had hurt. It wasn’t until she’d gotten one of her emergency nips in that she’d stopped vibrating. The relief was almost instant, and she’d followed it with several others in quick succession.

Everyone told her she needed to consult someone about kicking her habit. She’d read, like they had, that alcohol withdrawal would be hell. That quitting cold turkey was like signing her own death certificate, so she knew the danger. But she’d been determined, she wasn’t trying to kick it completely anyway. She liked drinking before, liked the warm feeling in her chest and the heat in her throat.

That’s what she wanted back. And maybe that was silly, maybe she was being silly, but after all the fighting didn’t she deserve that? Something simple, one single triumph in a sea of failure?

She sat on the mat stretched out her legs, letting out a deep breath and leaving those thoughts behind. She didn’t have the spoons for that tonight. The sensory memories were enough, the visualizations too much, but thinking about it? Really getting to the meat outside of her twice-weekly therapist appointments was a no-no. At least on days like this. Especially on days like this.

She sat there for a few long moments longer, flopping down after a while to stare up at the sky. It was darker when she finally sat up to head out and lock up completely. The stars doing their job to pull her back to her feet. Like they always had.

 

\--

 

The first thing she noticed upon entering her apartment was the smoke. As soon as she’d opened the door a thick wall of gray smoke hit her right in the face, followed quickly by the smell of something burnt.

“What the fuck?” she grumbled, slamming the door behind her and rushing into the kitchen. Standing in front of the large bay window, wearing a pink apron and cursing was her boyfriend, Thor Odinson.

“What the fuck?” she repeated, looking over the absolute mess of the kitchen. Thor turned and offered her an apologetic look as he tried to fan the smoke out of the open window with a burnt oven mitt.

“I swear this wasn’t me,” he said gesturing to the stick-thin man, who’s presence she’d completely missed (or ignored), upon entering. Loki gave her another apologetic look as he pulled a large black lump of indistinguishable meat from the oven. The smell of char made her gag before rolling her eyes. Of course.

“I’d already prepared dinner for us when this one,” he pointed his head in Loki’s direction,” decided to be ‘helpful’.”

“The roast was cold! I thought I’d just warm it up!” the black-haired man shouted indignantly.

Val looked at the two of them and glared. “I’m going upstairs to shower and change. When I get back I’d appreciate this being cleaned up and _him_ being gone,” she said, her voice tight. Loki and Thor both blinked at her tone before nodding quickly. She nodded and grimaced, turning on her heel and marching upstairs to their bedroom.

Upstairs, after quickly stripping out of her gym clothes, and letting the water run for a minute she slipped into their tub, sighing as she submerged herself in the fragrant water. She’d added a little eucalyptus oil and turned off the jets which pressed the water deliciously into her aching back with just the right amount of pressure.

She sat in the clear water and took stock of her body. From the soft purple of her painted toenails, which she’d need to redo soon, to the hair growing back in on her legs and arms. If she let it, it could get rather thick which she’d always hated when she was younger. Now, though, she’d felt better about it. Then onto her torso and the small pouch of pudge she’d begun sporting in the last few months. It was interesting to be carrying more weight than she’d ever had before. Not bad though, she liked the ways her body was changing after giving up fighting competitively. She’d had to be much more strict with herself back then, not that she’d always managed it in terms of libations but still. The change to her shape, however slight was a welcomed one.

“Sorry,” Thor said from the door. Val looked at him over her shoulder and sighed at his contrite look.

“Why was he here?” she asked instead of accepting the apology. She knew they still had contact. She’d even been around his brother at parties their friends threw. But him in her house. In their home was too much.

“We usually go out on Thursdays, you know that, but Colleen called,” he said as if that explained it all. It did, for the most part, but still.

“I know he’s your brother. I know you feel… well you love him, feel like you have to help him and carry him and whatever else, but I don’t want him here. I don’t think that’s asking too much,” she said coolly, slipping further into the water until it just grazed her chin, her braids floating around her now.

“Of course, of course, it’s not asking too much. I shouldn’t have let him in and I’m sorry.”

She nodded again, swallowing the lump that had begun to form in her throat. “Is it clean down there?” she asked softly. Thor walked further into the bathroom and crouched at the side of the tub, offering her a golden smile.

“All clear. And dinner’s on the way. That Syrian place you like,” he said as he dipped his hand into the water, soaking his sleeve as he reached for the hand closest to him and squeezed it.

“How was today?” he asked, his blue eyes peering down into her warm brown ones. She smiled under his gaze and shrugged.

“Not all good but better now,” she admitted.

“Do you want to talk about it at all?” he asked, frowning. She shook her head and squeezed his hand right back.

“Not on an empty stomach. When the food gets here I’ll tell you all about it,” she murmured. He nodded and leaned over to kiss her softly on the lips. She pressed into him, chasing his lips as he pulled away and chuckled.

“Tease,” she complained.

“When you’re full and we’ve talked I’ll tease you all you want, Brunnhilde,” he said, her real name sounding sweeter on his tongue than it ever had before. He was the only one who could disarm her like this, so suddenly and wonderfully.

“Keep calling me that and I’ll be the one teasing you,” she shot back, sitting up straighter now.

“If that’s what you need, I’ll let you do anything,” he promised bluntly. She leaned forward and kissed him quickly, knowing he wasn’t lying. He never did.

“I love you,” she said pulling back.

“And I love you,” he swore, grinning.


End file.
